Roaring Forties

June 24 – Took us 40 minutes to reach Seremban town from the grave yard. I just passed the Standard Chartered Bank and stopped at the lights.

Asleep at the wheel

3.30 p.m. – Did not realized how tired I was until I fell asleep at the wheel while waiting for the lights. The hooting of the car behind me, woke me up and for a moment, I didn’t know where I was. I regained my composure and drove back to the Temiang house.

Twilight Zone

6.45 p.m. – Left Seremban to go back to our Bukit Jalil home to sleep. May took over the driving chore and we proceed to the North South Highway in twilight and raining conditions. We took the old familiar road which we have traveled countless times and May took the turn into the highway to head for Kuala Lumpur. I was fully aware of the turn and did not spot any wrong turn.

After 5 minutes on the highway, both of us noticed that the signs boards were showing Melaka and Johor Baru. We were both extremely puzzled and asked each other what’s happening. We passed the Port Dickson interchange which confirmed that we were headed the wrong direction. We were speechless!

I remember telling May, “Okay, let’s take it easy and just turn around.” May did just that at the Senawang Interchange and we were both quiet as we resumed our journey. The silence resumed until we passed the Seremban Interchange which confirmed that we were heading the correct direction. We were noticeably relieved and we started talking again. We were both quite sure that we took the correct turn. It was an utterly freaky experience like something out of Twilight Zone.

8.00 p.m. – We arrived in Bukit Jalil without further incidents but we were still visibly shaken by the experience.

Dead Tired

June  25

6.00 a.m. – Never felt this tired since working at the log ward for two days at Mieco Chipboard. We had to (or rather I had to and May could actually rest but she was with me all the way, reminds me of Tammy Wymnette) return to Seremban to fetch the monk to Mentakab to do a ceremony cleanse the house there and supposedly bring back my mother’s soul to Seremban. Also needed to check out on Wiwy at the Temerloh Hospital.

Thank you Mrs. Lee

I am eternally grateful for the neighbour, Mrs. Lee who has been visiting Wiwy daily and had reported that she is okay. It is strange that the least interfering and unassuming neighbour is the one that stepped forward in times of need. It proves my belief that the ultra friendly and gossipy people are the worst kind. They are always at the fringe trying to gather juicy information like hungry stray dogs pilfering through rubbish but will be the first to run at the first signs of trouble.

Without Mrs. Lee’s help, I really don’t know what to do with Wiwy. I am not sure whether I could rely on help from my work colleagues? Sometimes there could be some who wants help but then life interferes in the form of spouses and family.

Story of a monk

7.30 a.m. – It was a long, long drive from Seremban to Mentakab, going though Titi Klawang, Simpang Pertang, Mengkarak and Triang. We had a long social chat with the lady monk. She was born in Lukut, Port Dickson and since her family was poor, they gave her up to a monastery. She grew up with the monks and when she was eighteen, she was free to do what she wanted. She even returned to her original family then but she just could not adjust to the material world. It was too chaotic for her. There was no peace. So she decided to return to the monastery and became a full time monk.

Rich monks

We were quite impressed that they regularly taken in abandoned little girls and raise them until the girls are independent. In fact, there are quite a number of girls who returned to lead a normal life when they reach adulthood. As a matter of fact, they encouraged the girls to study as much as possible and one of their girls was sent to France to further her studies. This was an eye opener.

As we drove, we found out that the monks actually owned several houses and they are hiring young apprentice monks from China to help them in their work.

10.30 a.m – After all that rambling, we finally arrived in Mentakab.

Capturing the soul

The monk immediately went about her work by placing a jar of rice for the joss sticks and placed it at the foot of the bed where my mother passed on. The monk then started her prayers and we were told to lit up joss sticks as well. With a bunch of flowers dipped in water, she began sprinkling water all over the house in a cleansing manner. After all the chanting and cleansing, the monk then opened up an umbrella at the bed, prayed and closed it.

She then declared that my mother’s soul is inside the umbrella. I have been watching such actions in Hong Kong movies especially in the Happy Ghost series but this is the first time I see it being actually practiced. I was then told to bring it back to Seremban and open the umbrella over the altar set up there for my mother.

Last but not least, I was told to hang a piece of red cloth over the main gate.

12.00 noon – We took the monk for a vegetarian lunch and then arranged for a taxi to send her to back to Seremban. We still had to take care of the Wiwy matters.

What happened to her? Why did she overdosed?

To be contiued in – My Overdosed Maid

11.15 p.m. – No way am I going to let my mother spent her last night alone. All the talks about the place unsafe did freaked me out a bit but it also really made my blood boiled. I took a machete and kept in inside my backpack. In my frame of mind at that moment in time, I would have been happy if someone were to turn up to rob us. I would have gladly took it out on him. No one is going to stop me from spending the last night with my mother. May, CC and LH accompanied me. SP wanted to go as well but we forbid her from joining as we did not want her to get into trouble with her parents since they were so adamant on not going.

The parlour was deserted (the dead person the night before had left for the rinal resting place earlier that day) when we arrived. I got the caretaker to lock the gates.

June 24 

12.00 a.m. We took turns to burn the joss papers and we took turns to sleep as we continued our wake. I continue to glance into the casket at regular intervals as I know the moment would not last and I will not have the chance to see her anymore.

4.00 a.m. – There was a constant honking at the gates. Who were they? Someone who wanted to rob us would not be announcing their arrival so loudly. Anyway, I checked out the gates and found a van delivering a body. I went back to call the caretaker, the gates were opened and the body was promptly brought in wrapped in a blanket.

It felt kind of eerie to encounter a body being brought in the early hours of the morning and the people in the van then left, leaving the body unattended in the compartment next to ours, covered with only a blanket. What’s wrong with people nowadays? Where are the relatives? It felt so sad for the dead to be left alone. What’s the point of having kids if they are going to abandon you in old age and when you die.

6.00 a.m. – Was burning joss paper when the van people returned with burial clothes. Could hear them changing the dead. They were saying “Turn him over”, “Lift” and “Higher” intersperse with gossips about someone they know.

7.15 a.m. – SP and her hubby came over to replace us. Sent LH and CC back to the house for them grab some rest. May and I didn’t feel like returning to the house so we went for quick breakfast and returned to the parlour.

9.30 a.m. – More well wishes turned up. Jenny G came with a complete list of condolence donations from my office. CY had arranged for that. There was also flowers from my office. Eddie and Moses turned up and I was pleasantly surprised especially with Moses whom I have known only in passing.

The prayers continued and I was wearing shorts. I chided by the monk and was told to wear long pants to show more respect. Well, my mother wouldn’t have minded. Nevertheless, I managed to borrow a pair of black pants.

12.30 p.m. – They called for the final viewing where we asked to put in yellow joss papers into the casket with sandal wood. It was customary for the loved ones to say their final farewell here. My sisters were weeping away but I have not shed a single tear since mother died. I just stood there in a daze staring at mother, knowing very well that it would be the last time I see her before she is forever gone except in memories.

2.00 p.m. – The funeral procession started. The casket was loaded unto the hearse as we started our last walk with mother. The walk was extremely short, only about 200 meters before we switched to our cars. It was a bright shining day. It was a small affair. A convoy of half a dozen vehicles.

My mother actually wanted a cremation. She had mentioned it to me and to LS. But my cousin LK vetoed the cremation because we had purchased a dual plot when my father died and LK stressed that we cannot leave the plot unused or it will bring bad luck. So much for the old beliefs. Of course, my sister TH and brother CC would believe anything LK told them. Even-though my mother wanted a cremation and I guess it doesn’t really matter anymore. When you are dead, you are dead. So rather than creating a fuss and a crisis amongst the living, LS and I decided to follow the ‘belief’. The only consolation is that my father finally has a companion behind him. God Bless His Soul.

2.45 p.m. – We arrived at the Sendayan Cemetery where the burial went on smoothly. I finally could hold back the tears. I wept unashamedly when we were told to say our finals farewell and that it was time to leave the cemetery. It marked the end of a generation. My mother was really the last one from her generation. It started to rain when we left the cemetery. It appeared so perfect with the sun shining all the way and for the rain to start only after the casket was laid in the ground.

It was all over. My mother has been laid to rest.

Well, it was all over for my mother but not for the living, life goes on.

Things are never that simple. Loose ends needed to be tied up. I needed to solve the problem of the over dosed maid. I was required to bring the monk to the house in Mentakab to cleanse the place and to invite my mother’s soul back to Seremban. There will be also some freaky stuff awaiting for us ahead.

To be continued in – To Capture the Soul

The drive home to Seremban was solemn and dark. The events of the day had passed so fast that I didn’t have time to think, to feel, to grieve. I finally had some time to ponder about the day while driving. It was finally sinking in. My mother has passed on.

7.30 pm – Arrived at the funeral parlour in Jalan Temiang and was surprised to find only my brother CC beside the casket burning the joss paper. I had expected my sister from Malacca to reach first since I have informed her at 1 p.m. Where was my Singapore sister? She was told at 1.00 p.m. too. Where are my nephews and nieces? It was a silent reception. May and I immediately light some joss sticks for mother and I checked out on her. She looked good. She looked peaceful. 

8.00 p.m. – My tardy sister, TH and my brother in law CS finally arrived with my nephew TK about half an hour later. They appeared a bit freaked, lighted their joss sticks in haste and did not view mother that night. CS and TK then left to pick up my 3^rd sister LH from the KLIA airport. LH arrived shortly before 10.00 p.m.

I then arranged for two shifts for the nightwatch with CC and LH taking the first shift from 11.00 pm to 3.00 a.m. while May & I will take the 3.00 a.m. shift. We went back to the Temiang house for a shower and grab a couple hours of sleep.

June 24

2.30 a.m. – The alarm woke us up rudely. May and I promptly returned to the parlour. LH and CC left for home to rest. The parlour was then deserted. It was only the two of us with mother. There was another body in the adjoining parlour but there was no one taking care of the dead there. Strange that people will cry and wail in the day in front of public but in the wee hours, the dead are abandoned. The two of us laboured through to dawn.

4.30 a.m. – Like Murphy’s Law, a cat did appear and there is an old Chinese belief that if a cat jumps over a dead body , the dead, it would become an undead? Not that I believed in such nonsense but a belief is like a bondage and I did my duly duty to chase the cat away. At least, the puss provided some entertainment for the night.

8.00 a.m. – My other siblings arrived. May and I went for breakfast and returned to the parlour immediately after.

I was immediately seconded to fetch the funeral organizer to the graveyard to make burial arrangements for the next day. The weirdest thing happened after the arrangement been made when the funeral organizer asked me to send him to the Seremban Agape Church as his fiancé is waiting for him there. I was utterly shocked at this revelation. What’s a Chinese Taoist Funeral Organizer doing going to church. Is this a sign? Is this a calling from God? I was a bit freaked. Lord God, Jesus! Forgive me.

11.30 a.m. – I returned to the parlour and found that my cousin LK who helped to arrange for most of the arrangements waiting for me. I was requested out to pick up SK, my cousin from Seremban Parade and to go Rasah to pack vegetarian food for the monks who were supposed to conduct the prayer ceremony. Did as I was told and in a minor defiance, I bought KFC (meat) for everyone else and it turned out to be a hit

Late noon – The folks from Singapore arrived, my sister LS, my brother in law CT, my nephew CK and my niece WY just in time for the start of the prayer ceremony. The atmosphere was a bit more jovial and the tension in the air appeared to be lifted. Maybe it is because of the jovial nature of CK and WY. Maybe TH and CS felt a bit more relieved that there are more present to share the burden? The four lady monks who assisted with the prayer ceremony were quite comical especially the two younger lady monks who were probably in their early twenties and were recruited from China. They reminded me of something out of an anime cartoon.

Afternoon – More relatives arrived in the afternoon and the visitors kept coming in till evening. The rest of the day was spent greeting visitors, burning joss sticks and joss papers continuously. A production line of about 10 was set up to fold the joss papers into lotus shapes.

Sunset set – My other niece, SP arrived with her hubby and the family reunion is now complete. We finally have a complete set of children and grandchildren for the prayer ceremony. If my mother was watching, this would be the moment she was waiting for.

10.00 p.m. – The finale of the night was the burning of the paper house with the lotus joss papers which the production line spent five hours went out in smoke in 5 minutes.

10.30 p.m. – One of the monks suggested that we all go home to rest and also said that it is not very safe as the parlour was known to be robbed in the wee hours before. She added that we could pay the caretaker of the place to burn the joss papers for us. CS taking the cue from the monk, declared that it was a good idea and asked everyone to go home. I scorned at the idea and stated that I wanted to stay. CS was quite insistent that we should all go back.

CC, LH and May said that they will join me to stay the night if I am staying. I then suggested for the four of us to go back to shower and return to the parlour. I asked the rest to wait for half an hour for us to return.

11.00 p.m. – We went back to shower and within 10 minutes everyone came back as well. CS kept insisting that it was alright and there is no need to stay overnight. TH tried to ease the situation by stressing that it was not safe and it was okay to leave mother alone. I was utterly dumbfolded.  

To be continued in – The Funeral

It has been more than four months now but the memories are still very fresh and vivid. June 2007 have been a turning point in my life and it all started on June 22.

June 22 – I had just returned from Bangkok the previous night and I drove to Mentakab early in the morning (7.30 am) to see my mum. She was not well before my trip and she appeared to have gotten worse. She was oblivious of my presence, she could not see and she has grown noticeably weaker physically.I was afraid that Wiwy (actual name Winarti) could not managed to take care of my mum.

I made the decision then to check out for a nursing home for mum. Maybe they could do better. Went to work (8.30 am), returned home during lunch (12.30 pm) to check up on mum again and again after (6.00 pm) work. There was no improvement.

Decided the need for the nursing home was even more urgent and that I will need do it in the morning of June 23.

Left Mentakab (7.30 pm) for KL to surprise my better half who was attending a reunion dinner for Don and Ling.

Arrived in time for dessert and we then adjourned to Siong’s place. The break was a relief for me and it was really great to catch up with Don and Ling.Don and Ling left Malaysia in the mid 90s to seek greener pasture in the USA and a better future for their children. They were always in the thick of all our gatherings before they left and it really felt like the good old times revisited. They now have three absolutely adorable children. We sat and chatted overnight before adjourning for Dim Sum.

June 23

8.00 a.m. – Returned home after an all night reunion with Don and Ling at JS’s place.

9.00 a.m. – Caught an hour’s sleep before being woken up by call from Wiwy who advised that Mum was not answering her calls and it appeared that she has gone into a coma. Asked Wiwy whether Mum is alive and she advised that she is still breathing.

9.30 a.m. – We immediately drove to Mentakab.

11.00 a.m – Being a Saturday, traffic was quite light, we reached the house in record time. Wiwy was in a shocked state and mum appeared to be in a deep sleep. Her body was still warm but hands and feet were cold. It appeared that she was not breathing or breathing very shallowly. Thought I detected a weak pulse.

11.15 a.m – Immediately called an ambulance in case she could be resuscitated. Asked the neighbor, Mr. & Mrs. Lee for help.

11.40 a.m – Mrs. Lee was attending to Mum when the ambulance arrived. At that point, Wiwy passed out cold.

11.55 a.m. – The ambulance attendant pronounced that Mum has passed on. I was calm and composed hearing the news. Maybe the memories of seeing Aunt OC wasting away in nursing home for 6 years made me a bit relief that Mum was spared the misery.

We could not revived Wiwy and May found 3 packets of empty panadol packets which led us to suspect that Wiwy overdosed.

12.15 p.m. – The ambulance immediately took Wiwy away and May followed along. Before the ambulance left, I managed to get a contact from the attendant to transport the body.I was left alone with my Mum and I begin to make calls; firstly to my cousin in Seremban to arrange for the funeral parlour. I then called and arranged for the transport. Finally, I called my sisters to inform them.

12.25 p.m. – The transporter for the body arrived to check out situation. We negotiated and agreed on a RM 600 fee to transport my mum’s body to Seremban.

1.15 p.m. – The van finally arrived and within 5 minutes, my mum’s body was loaded into the van with a yellow colored prayer cloth. I was obliged to follow the body under the Chinese custom but with May in the hospital with Wiwy, I was unable to accompany my mum.

1.20 p.m. – I locked up the place and proceeded to the hospital. Wiwy has not revived but the hospital has pumped her stomach with carbon to induce vomiting. Wiwy had to be admitted for observation.

2.30 p.m – We left the hospital and went back to the house. We cleaned up mum’s room and took her personal effects for her burial.

3.30 p.m – Left Mentakab for K.L. Went home to pack some clothes for ourselves.

5.50 p.m. – Went for a quick meal in Sri Petaling as both of us have not taken our lunch.

6.45 p.m – Left for Seremban as the skies turned dark.

To be continued in ~ The Wake