Roaring Forties

11.15 p.m. – No way am I going to let my mother spent her last night alone. All the talks about the place unsafe did freaked me out a bit but it also really made my blood boiled. I took a machete and kept in inside my backpack. In my frame of mind at that moment in time, I would have been happy if someone were to turn up to rob us. I would have gladly took it out on him. No one is going to stop me from spending the last night with my mother. May, CC and LH accompanied me. SP wanted to go as well but we forbid her from joining as we did not want her to get into trouble with her parents since they were so adamant on not going.

The parlour was deserted (the dead person the night before had left for the rinal resting place earlier that day) when we arrived. I got the caretaker to lock the gates.

June 24 

12.00 a.m. We took turns to burn the joss papers and we took turns to sleep as we continued our wake. I continue to glance into the casket at regular intervals as I know the moment would not last and I will not have the chance to see her anymore.

4.00 a.m. – There was a constant honking at the gates. Who were they? Someone who wanted to rob us would not be announcing their arrival so loudly. Anyway, I checked out the gates and found a van delivering a body. I went back to call the caretaker, the gates were opened and the body was promptly brought in wrapped in a blanket.

It felt kind of eerie to encounter a body being brought in the early hours of the morning and the people in the van then left, leaving the body unattended in the compartment next to ours, covered with only a blanket. What’s wrong with people nowadays? Where are the relatives? It felt so sad for the dead to be left alone. What’s the point of having kids if they are going to abandon you in old age and when you die.

6.00 a.m. – Was burning joss paper when the van people returned with burial clothes. Could hear them changing the dead. They were saying “Turn him over”, “Lift” and “Higher” intersperse with gossips about someone they know.

7.15 a.m. – SP and her hubby came over to replace us. Sent LH and CC back to the house for them grab some rest. May and I didn’t feel like returning to the house so we went for quick breakfast and returned to the parlour.

9.30 a.m. – More well wishes turned up. Jenny G came with a complete list of condolence donations from my office. CY had arranged for that. There was also flowers from my office. Eddie and Moses turned up and I was pleasantly surprised especially with Moses whom I have known only in passing.

The prayers continued and I was wearing shorts. I chided by the monk and was told to wear long pants to show more respect. Well, my mother wouldn’t have minded. Nevertheless, I managed to borrow a pair of black pants.

12.30 p.m. – They called for the final viewing where we asked to put in yellow joss papers into the casket with sandal wood. It was customary for the loved ones to say their final farewell here. My sisters were weeping away but I have not shed a single tear since mother died. I just stood there in a daze staring at mother, knowing very well that it would be the last time I see her before she is forever gone except in memories.

2.00 p.m. – The funeral procession started. The casket was loaded unto the hearse as we started our last walk with mother. The walk was extremely short, only about 200 meters before we switched to our cars. It was a bright shining day. It was a small affair. A convoy of half a dozen vehicles.

My mother actually wanted a cremation. She had mentioned it to me and to LS. But my cousin LK vetoed the cremation because we had purchased a dual plot when my father died and LK stressed that we cannot leave the plot unused or it will bring bad luck. So much for the old beliefs. Of course, my sister TH and brother CC would believe anything LK told them. Even-though my mother wanted a cremation and I guess it doesn’t really matter anymore. When you are dead, you are dead. So rather than creating a fuss and a crisis amongst the living, LS and I decided to follow the ‘belief’. The only consolation is that my father finally has a companion behind him. God Bless His Soul.

2.45 p.m. – We arrived at the Sendayan Cemetery where the burial went on smoothly. I finally could hold back the tears. I wept unashamedly when we were told to say our finals farewell and that it was time to leave the cemetery. It marked the end of a generation. My mother was really the last one from her generation. It started to rain when we left the cemetery. It appeared so perfect with the sun shining all the way and for the rain to start only after the casket was laid in the ground.

It was all over. My mother has been laid to rest.

Well, it was all over for my mother but not for the living, life goes on.

Things are never that simple. Loose ends needed to be tied up. I needed to solve the problem of the over dosed maid. I was required to bring the monk to the house in Mentakab to cleanse the place and to invite my mother’s soul back to Seremban. There will be also some freaky stuff awaiting for us ahead.

To be continued in – To Capture the Soul

It has been more than four months now but the memories are still very fresh and vivid. June 2007 have been a turning point in my life and it all started on June 22.

June 22 – I had just returned from Bangkok the previous night and I drove to Mentakab early in the morning (7.30 am) to see my mum. She was not well before my trip and she appeared to have gotten worse. She was oblivious of my presence, she could not see and she has grown noticeably weaker physically.I was afraid that Wiwy (actual name Winarti) could not managed to take care of my mum.

I made the decision then to check out for a nursing home for mum. Maybe they could do better. Went to work (8.30 am), returned home during lunch (12.30 pm) to check up on mum again and again after (6.00 pm) work. There was no improvement.

Decided the need for the nursing home was even more urgent and that I will need do it in the morning of June 23.

Left Mentakab (7.30 pm) for KL to surprise my better half who was attending a reunion dinner for Don and Ling.

Arrived in time for dessert and we then adjourned to Siong’s place. The break was a relief for me and it was really great to catch up with Don and Ling.Don and Ling left Malaysia in the mid 90s to seek greener pasture in the USA and a better future for their children. They were always in the thick of all our gatherings before they left and it really felt like the good old times revisited. They now have three absolutely adorable children. We sat and chatted overnight before adjourning for Dim Sum.

June 23

8.00 a.m. – Returned home after an all night reunion with Don and Ling at JS’s place.

9.00 a.m. – Caught an hour’s sleep before being woken up by call from Wiwy who advised that Mum was not answering her calls and it appeared that she has gone into a coma. Asked Wiwy whether Mum is alive and she advised that she is still breathing.

9.30 a.m. – We immediately drove to Mentakab.

11.00 a.m – Being a Saturday, traffic was quite light, we reached the house in record time. Wiwy was in a shocked state and mum appeared to be in a deep sleep. Her body was still warm but hands and feet were cold. It appeared that she was not breathing or breathing very shallowly. Thought I detected a weak pulse.

11.15 a.m – Immediately called an ambulance in case she could be resuscitated. Asked the neighbor, Mr. & Mrs. Lee for help.

11.40 a.m – Mrs. Lee was attending to Mum when the ambulance arrived. At that point, Wiwy passed out cold.

11.55 a.m. – The ambulance attendant pronounced that Mum has passed on. I was calm and composed hearing the news. Maybe the memories of seeing Aunt OC wasting away in nursing home for 6 years made me a bit relief that Mum was spared the misery.

We could not revived Wiwy and May found 3 packets of empty panadol packets which led us to suspect that Wiwy overdosed.

12.15 p.m. – The ambulance immediately took Wiwy away and May followed along. Before the ambulance left, I managed to get a contact from the attendant to transport the body.I was left alone with my Mum and I begin to make calls; firstly to my cousin in Seremban to arrange for the funeral parlour. I then called and arranged for the transport. Finally, I called my sisters to inform them.

12.25 p.m. – The transporter for the body arrived to check out situation. We negotiated and agreed on a RM 600 fee to transport my mum’s body to Seremban.

1.15 p.m. – The van finally arrived and within 5 minutes, my mum’s body was loaded into the van with a yellow colored prayer cloth. I was obliged to follow the body under the Chinese custom but with May in the hospital with Wiwy, I was unable to accompany my mum.

1.20 p.m. – I locked up the place and proceeded to the hospital. Wiwy has not revived but the hospital has pumped her stomach with carbon to induce vomiting. Wiwy had to be admitted for observation.

2.30 p.m – We left the hospital and went back to the house. We cleaned up mum’s room and took her personal effects for her burial.

3.30 p.m – Left Mentakab for K.L. Went home to pack some clothes for ourselves.

5.50 p.m. – Went for a quick meal in Sri Petaling as both of us have not taken our lunch.

6.45 p.m – Left for Seremban as the skies turned dark.

To be continued in ~ The Wake

September 5, 2007 – was a shocking day for me and for all Paulians, class of 1982. We were all in an euphoric mood after celebrating a 25 years renunion during the weekend when we learnt that a class mate of ours, Peter Paul Nonis was brutally attacked outside his place of work at the Shell refinery in Port Dickson as he was leaving the office.

In school, Peter Paul was absolutely the friendliest and the nicest chap you could find. He was one of those guys who was always helping others, who was smiling all the time, who was never imposing and who was soft spoken, without a hint of agression. I have not seen him for years but I definitely have fond memories of him and I would never expect him to be involved with any violent characters. It is just not his nature.

Peter Paul had slash wounds to the back of his head and his left wrist was almost severed. He was warded in the intensive care unit in the Seremban GH for four days. Peter Paul was declared brain dead on Saturday, September 8, 2007 without regaining consiousness.

This is an utterly shocking chapter of my life. We read about murders all the time in the newspapers but this happened to someone I know and someone whom I have spent a good 10 years of my school life with. I just can’t imagine the pain and the sorrow that the family has to go through. It is so senseless and it is a reality check that life can be so fragile.

Peter Paul, my prayers and thoughts are with you. May you rest in peace. May your family find comfort. And may the people who did this terrible thing be caught and brought to justice.